‘Game of Thrones’ Season 3 Episode 8 Review: “Second Sons”

Rating: 8/10

Spoiler-free summary: Season 3 picks up the pace with only two episodes left. Arya passes the Red Fork river, Yunkai prepares to defend itself, Gendry arrives at Dragonstone, Stannis releases his prisoner, Kings landing hosts a major wedding, Cersei threatens the Tyrell’s, Daenerys gains new allies and Sam encounters a being in the snow.

*Episode spoilers from here on*

No Jon, no Robb, no Jaime? No skin-flaying or castration?

Second Sons flourished through exclusions, good and bad. Instead of countless parallel storylines, it focused mainly on Gendry’s arrival at Dragonstone, Dany’s negotiation with the Second Sons, and  Tyrion and Sansa’s marriage in Kings Landing. The episode was also bookended by brief scenes featuring Arya and the Hound, and Sam and Gilly.

It was a week of unlikely pairs; Tyrions awkward marriage to Sansa was trumped only by Melissandre’s leeching of poor Gendry. We also briefly visited Arya, a reluctant companion of the Hound, who plans on ransoming her at the Twins. There was something very gratifying about Arya FINALLY being caught up on things. As she sees it, her brother and mother are north, the Hound still works for Joffrey and her sister is betrothed to the King. Arya is that friend who only watched Season 1 and swore off the series when Ned Stark was beheaded. Ignorance aside, a rare smile means that for the time being the Hound is off her hitlist. (But seriously, is there a tally for the amount of times she’s heard the words, ‘i’m taking you back to your family?’)

In the East, Daenerys met with the captains of the Second Sons, a group of sellswords hired by Yunkai to defend them. Inexplicably without her dragons (one does not simply have an infinite CGI budget) she met the vulgar Mero “The Titans Bastard”, some other dude, and the dreamy Daario Naharis. While the trio initially planned to reject Daenerys offer, infiltrate her camp and kill her, Daario decides he’d rather not. “I said, I am Daario Naharis. I always have a choice.” He kills the two captains and pledges the second sons to Daenerys.

(This guy is all hair, swag and cheekbones – Captain Jack Sparrow meets Orlando Bloom meets Jaqen H’ghar. I kinda want his babies.)

Meanwhile on Dragonstone,  Davos was released by Stannis after an admirable attempt to read the histories of Aegon the Conqueror  Visenya? Vhagar? Couldn’t Shirreen have given him a book about sheep?  Stannis missed his BFF, and hoped Davos would have a word with his GF about gutting his nephew (as his Wife stared at jars of dead babies. #complicatedhomelife). Melissandre’s alternative to sacrificing Gendry was seducing him, tying him to a bed, and letting a leech suck the blood from his manhood. So nice. I feel like Theon and Gendry could form a club. She then performed a ritual in which usurpers ‘Robb Stark’, ‘Balon Greyjoy’, and ‘Joffrey Baratheon’ were condemned. By now, we know that the Lord of Light can make bad things happen. He can have Balon and Joffrey for all anyone cares, but Robb?!

As a distraction from that thought, let’s talk about what everyone wants to talk about. Tyrion and Sansa’s wedding.

It was full of awkwardness, tension and in many cases, hilarity. Married literally steps from where her father was beheaded, to the dwarf uncle of a boy-king who has made her life hell, Sansa was curiously resigned. And the sadistic cherry on top of it all was Joffrey giving her away. I know everyone loves to hate Sansa, but you have to feel sorry for her sometimes. Fantastically written and beautifully shot, the wedding scenes were a goldmine for amazing dialogue.

Olena Tyrell was great as she explained to Loras just how screwed up his family life will be when he marries Cersei. Hilarious. “And you will be the Kings stepfather and brother in-law.” And I know Cersei is a huge bitch, but man, is she good at it. From “if you ever call me sister again i’ll have you strangled in your sleep” to “nobody cares what your father once said” she gracefully performed a verbal smackdown on both Tyrell’s. To be honest, I was getting a bit sick of Margaery’s ‘let’s be sister’s’ routine anyway.

Back to the awkward union. Tyrion began gently, attempting to convince his bride that he understood how she felt and that he would always be kind to her. But he clearly lost his cool (probably around the same time Joffrey removed his stool) and opted for plan B, the one with lots of drinking. “I am the god of tits and wine” is definitely my favourite Tyrion line this season. Or is it? Threatening to geld the King in front of a room full of nobility might actually take the cake.

“Then you’ll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock.”

DAMN. I liked how Tywin lazily swept in to save his son from being instantly executed, and how Tyrion casually turned the threat in to a drunken blunder. “I vomited on a girl once, in the middle of the act. Not proud of it.” Peter Dinklage’s line-delivery and mannerisms are Emmy-worthy. Equally brilliant was the scene Tyrion and Sansa shared as man and wife: “Astoundingly long…” “What?” “…neck. You have one.”

I could just write out quotes and nothing would be better. It really was great.

Sam the Slayer! In the north, our favourite screw-up showed some serious character development this week, summoning the courage to protect Gilly and her baby by shoving a dragon glass dagger in to a White Walkers’ back. (But not quite enough development to PICK UP THE WEAPON THAT JUST KILLED A MYTHICAL ICE DEMON CREATURE. Oh Sam. Baby steps.) The White Walkers have returned and look as amazing as ever, though the same cannot be said for some crummy CGI sword-shattering. Hmm. As a whole though, I enjoyed the action and plot development the final scene provided, and the wonderfully awkward interactions between Gilly and Sam.

‘Second Sons’ carries a lot of weight in its name, as what I think is this seasons best title yet. It refers most blatantly to the group of sellswords hired by Yunkai. However both Stannis and Tyrion are second sons, overlooked by their fathers and less loved by their peers than their older siblings, yet inevitably bound to ‘do their duty’. The Hound, too, is a second son, forever in the shadow of his older and crueller brother, Gregor Clegane. If we really want to stretch, Joffrey is a second son, and Sam Tarly is shunned by his father in favor of his younger brother. So many second sons!

We have to wait two weeks for the next episode, ‘The Rains of Castamere’, rumored to focus on Robb’s storyline as he reaches the Twins. We can always count on GoT to deliver in its final episodes. I’m certain the wait will be worth it.

Peachy x

‘Game of Thrones’ Season 3 Episode 7 Review: “The Bear and the Maiden Fair”

Rating: 7/10

Spoiler-free summary: A plot-mover with a dramatic end, ‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair’ neatly puts the pieces in place for this seasons final three episodes. The Wildlings march for Castle Black, Sansa and Tyrion seek advice from friends, Tywin councils his grandson, Daenerys looks to Yunkai, Shae and Tyrion discuss their future, Melissandre reveals Gendry’s ancestry, Arya seizes an opportunity, Theon’s torture continues, Jon and Ygritte consider their differences, Osha shares a story from her past, and Jaime makes a dangerous decision.

*Episode spoilers from here on*

Dragons, bears, nudity. A pretty standard episode for GoT.

‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair’ opens with a panoramic view of the Wall as the wildlings march south, a taster of the visual brilliance to come. Directed by Michelle MacLaren, what this episode may have lacked in payoff it made up for in appearance, with stunning sweeping shots and visual effects. Jon is still getting used to the Wildlings’ willingness to discuss intimate matters loudly in public (“don’t jam it in like you’re spearing a pig”) and we were treated to a surplus of Jongritte banter. I enjoyed the contrast of their gaps in knowledge. Yes, Ygitte may be silly for thinking a mill is a castle, but she can shoot deers at distances Jon thinks are ‘too far’. Their language gaps also represent the difference between the wildlings and the northerners, seperated by a wall of ice, in a way that the series hasn’t done up until now.

That may be down to the fact that it was written by George R. R. Martin himself. From the outset, the dialogue in this episode had more weight. It was big on book detail we haven’t yet heard in the tv series (the population of King’s landing, the revelation that Tywin was the hand of King Aerys, the comparative sizing of dragons – big and small – and the history of Wilding revolts). The character voices, too, had the loving touch of the guy who created them, from Sansa’s tears to Jaime’s final jab at Locke.

But I imagine it must be fun writing for characters that don’t exist in his books. Talisa, for example. We got a rare scene between her and Robb. Robb’s abs – DAMN (and for the guys/ladies who like ladies, Talisa – dat ass). But aside from being a very lovely obligatory nude scene, did anyone else find Talisa’s post-lovemaking Valyrian letter to her ‘mother’ a bit suspicious? I’ve come to be suspicious of everything in this show. The first horrible thought that crossed my mind was that she could be a spy for Varys. He is known as ‘the Spider’ for his multitude of spies, and is also from Essos so would supposedly be fluent in Valyrian. For now though, i’m happy to think it was just a nice way to reveal that Talisa is up the duff with a cute-as-pie heir.

Sansa showed some character development this week: “I’m stupid. A stupid little girl with stupid dreams who never learns”. But her naivety hasn’t really gone anywhere, as she still thinks that Loras is straight and that Margaery learned about sex from her mother (ha). She also thinks that a gay man would make a better husband than a handsome and kind, albeit small one, who as Margaery points out is probably awesome at sex. Sigh. Meanwhile, Bronn and Tyrion also discussed his impending nuptials. Bro talk with Bronn should be a spinoff series.

Tywin-Joffrey was not quite the smackdown we’d all hoped, but there was some excellent subtlety in Charles Dance’s imposing performance. And the stair burn! I loved the irony that Joffrey won’t climb the stairs in the tower of the hand but is cool to climb those to the Iron Throne so that he can squat like a pre-pubescent gangsta. He may have had his only intelligent thought yet, though, in regards to Daenerys. Tywin seems uncharacteristically silly for underestimating the threat that Dany poses, but he has got quite a lot on his plate at the mo, with forcing his children in to humorously bad, loveless marriages and all.

Speaking of Dany, she’s come a pretty long way from being sold to a horselord in season 1. Here we see her beautiful, regal and at ease, her dragons surrounding her, giving terms to an ancient city. She even uses her dragons to intimidate in what is some epic CGI. The dragons look so real and…scary! As for the Yunkai negotiator – damn, gimme some of that eyeliner. I love how each of the Eastern cities – Yunkai, Quarth and Astapor – are all so distinct, and the level of detail that has gone in to making their costuming and cultures unique. What is aesthetically and imaginatively unparalleled about Game of Thrones (and probably what gets you hooked) is its realness, despite being a fantasy series.

Back in King’s Landing we got to see Shae’s reaction to Tyrion’s engagement, in what was a mildly heartbreaking scene. Peter Dinklage is the bomb, Tyrion’s mix of desire and pain was palpable as he talked about ‘any children’ he and Shae ‘might have’. But Shae won’t buy it. She’s come a long way from where she started (a whore and camp-follower, and perhaps once even a slave if her reaction to Tyrion’s ‘chains’ is anything to go by) so Tyrion’s deal sounds like a pretty sweet one. I’m not sure I really understand her stubbornness – surely she knows how the game works?

Once again, i’m being tricked into not disliking Melissandre. I really like that the audience is finally getting some background info on her, as her history of slavery makes her less detestable. However despite the friendly reveal that Gendry is the son of a king, I still get the vibe that she’s gonna gut him for some shadow-baby-ritual…

Arya’s brief appearance gave her just enough time to express her anger at the Brotherhood, deliver a kickass line about her one true god being Death, and make a run for it before being caught by the Hound. He may be one of the many on her ‘kill list’, but the Hound has spent a decent chunk of his time protecting her sister. Arya doesn’t know this, though, and I doubt she’d even care. Either way, these are two of my favourite characters and i’m excited to see their pairing unfold.

Elsewhere our favourite pair, Brienne and Jaime, shared a heartfelt goodbye that showed how far their relationship has come. Brienne’s choice to call him Ser Jaime, with his knights title and first name, is a far cry from the sneering Kingslayer. This is especially significant as Jaime feels less than knightly; he’s lost his sword hand, been worn down by imprisonment, and ridiculed for years for ‘forsaking’ his vows. I thought it was a simple, and really touching way of saying “you’re an okay guy”.

We also got our weekly dose of “Fun with Theon”. Didn’t I tell you? Worse than flaying, now castration. And psychological sex torture. Yes, this really does show just how little control Theon has, bla bla, but how much is enough for television? Iwan Rheon is probably gonna be as irrationally loathed as the kid who plays Joffrey soon. That’s all I have to say.

In other duller, but more comfortable scenes (is Bran’s storyline going to materialise soon?) we learnt a bit more about Osha’s reasons for fleeing south. Her Wildling lover, Bruni (“I was his, and he was mine”) became a Wight and attacked her. I like how Natalia Teena is playing Osha as increasingly cranky and uneasy the closer they get to the wall. The best part of this scene though (and perhaps the episode) came from Hodor:

Osha: How come he gets to sit and chat while we do all the work?
Hodor: [thinks for a minute]…Hodor.

Undoubtedly this episode’s biggest event, though, came with its crowd-pleasing ending.

Jaime returns to Harrenhall and throws himself in to a Bear pit to save Brienne. Despite being a seedy bastard who cut off Jaime’s hand and made Brienne fight a bear, I kind of really like Locke: “Buy yourself a golden hand and fuck yourself with it.” “Well this is one shameful fucking performance” “Dafuq you doing to my bear?” An awesome scene with a special guest star (Bart the Bear) that gave a bit of colour to what was ultimately a placeholder episode designed to set things up for a very eventful few weeks to come. Jaime even managed a retort that reminded me of his swagger back in season 1 (but for which we can forgive him ’cause he’s different now). “Sorry about the sapphires.” Perfect.

Peachy x

‘Game of Thrones’ Season 3 Episode 6 Review: “The Climb”

Rating: 7.5/10

Spoiler-free summary: Season 3 hits its stride in a less epic but more plot driven episode. Sam and Gilly continue their journey south, Jojen Reed has a vision, Jon and Ygritte discuss their new relationship, the wildlings look to the wall, the Brotherhood have a surprise visitor, Theon’s captor plays a game, Robb negotiates with the Frey’s, Lord Bolton decides the fate of his prisoners, Tywin pushes to secure his betrothals, Varys and Littlefinger discuss differing ambitions, and Sansa’s dreams shatter around her.

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As someone who loves Game of Thrones so much it borders on the pathological, a GoT review presented the perfect opportunity to introduce you to both my mental instability and written voice. Peachy, here, and it’s very nice to meet you.

You may be wondering why I would bother reviewing a show six episodes in to its third season. That question can be simply rebuffed. I have read A Storm of Swords; arguably the most important events in GoT history will go down in the next five weeks and I am so excited to be discussing them with you! As the totally irrelevant Dothraki phrase goes anha dothrak adakhataan (i’m about to eat).

* Episode spoilers galore from here on *

‘The Climb’ opens with Gilly completely undermining Sam’s manliness. In a subtle attempt to salvage it, he shows her the dragon glass he found at the Fist of the First Men back in season 2. I’m sure we know this show well enough to realise that that an ‘oh, look at my dragon glass’ moment wasn’t just a scene filler. However, a nice scene that featured John Bradley singing a Southern lullaby referencing the Seven, and a convincing interaction between the two characters.

I wasn’t as convinced by the rabbit skinning argument, though Meera’s comment about punching rabbits to death was something Joffrey might have lol’d at. Undoubtedly, the highlight of this scene was Hodor waking up and saying ‘Hodor’. BEST. In terms of plot, though, the development here was Bran discovering that Jon Snow isn’t just chilling at Castle Black, and that stuff is going down at the Wall.

This episode gave Jon and Ygritte the kind of chemistry they’ve been missing all season, with some great dialogue (“don’t betray me…i’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it around me neck”) that made me sad that we didn’t have some banter in the lead up to last weeks cave-happenings. Water under the bridge though, as this episode more than made up for my doubts concerning TV JonGritte. The last scene removed them completely.

Back in the south, I found myself starting to hate Melissandre less – which makes no sense – but it might be because she recognised Arya for how badass she is and all but told us all how badass she will be in the future. Her cross in to the storyline of the more relatable Brotherhood also shed light on (pun intended) differing styles of worship when it comes to the Red God. R’hllor continues to gain significance in the series; what began as a foreign religion to reflect how weird we all think Stannis is has become a real and major power in the world. On a semi-unrelated note, Paul Kaye is excellent as Thoros of Myr.

The main source of action in The Climb comes, unsurprisingly, with the climbing of the Wall. Scenes that were epic enough in their own right (seriously, this stuff is standard now but imagine how amazing it would have seemed back in season 1?) were made even better by some pretty awesome CGI and fantastic JonGritte moments.

Photo: The Washington Times

Elsewhere we finally got to see Iwan Rheon have a real stab (pun also intended) at playing the messed up Ramsay Snow (Theon’s torture dude) in a long and uncomfortable scene. I’m pretty sure the director achieved what he was going for here, but the whole thing was just too weird and jarring for me. Rheon does a good job at portraying Ramsay’s instability, but not how…dangerous he is. He just comes across as a twisted kid. The writers decision to follow Theon’s journey on screen (when it fizzles out for a few books in the series) is not one i’m too keen on, but hey, call me old fashioned for not wanting to watch peoples fingers being skinned every week.

Robb’s negotiation with the Frey’s sets up some major events for later this season. It’s weddings galore it seems, with Edmure Tully agreeing to marry Walder Frey’s daughter in exchange for their continued allegiance to Robb. Meanwhile in Harrenhall, Lord Bolton shows he has a greater agenda than appearances suggest as he considers what to do with Jaime and Brienne. As always, the interaction between these two characters is subtly fantastic. Yet despite how much we love them, it seems Jaime is off to King’s Landing  while Brienne is, uh, not. Look forward to the next episode for where this one goes.

We finally got a scene with Diana Rigg (Lady Olenna) and Charles Dance (Tywin)! Huzzah! I was anticipating this one almost as much as an Olenna-Tyrion scene, and it did not disappoint. However here Tywin wins the upper hand, securing a Cersei-Loras engagement by threatening to name Ser Loras to the Kingsguard. Smooth move. But not before Lady Olenna quizzes him on his homosexual experiences and lands a massive burn in reference to Cersei and Jaime’s ‘activities’. This character is the best.

So it seems Loras will be marry Cersei, who may be more seasoned than Sansa but as Tyrion quipped, is still “missing some of his favourite parts”. It’ll be interesting to see how Shae reacts to Tyrion’s new betrhothal next week, and how the show handles the Tyrion-Sansa dynamic.

The title references the literal climb experienced by the wildings, as well as the metaphorical climb in the Game of Thrones, which Littlefinger so chillingly reminds of us of. Scenes with Littlefinger and Varys are always excellent and this one was especially memorable. The writers are getting in at least one death per episode and this weeks unlucky lady was Ros, the northern whore we’ve known since episode 1. Despite not existing in the books, she has had a pleasant arc over three seasons and has done pretty well to last this long. But it seems cruel that her demise should be at the hands of Prince Prick, back in true form this week after a month or so of skipping through halls with Margaery. But not before impaling Ros’ knee, arm and a bit of bed post. In any other series the death of a recurring character would trigger an inkling of mourning, but my heart has been turned to stone by GoT. Ros’ death is like a toe-stub if you think back to Season 1’s “Baelor”.*

Dany was absent but not necessarily missed. Rhythmically, this episode flowed better than others of the season. That can be attributed to the loving hands of producers Benioff & Weiss, who penned the episode. Both dudes are very talented writers in their own right, and have done a beautiful job converting the series from books to small screen. And we have them to thank for the inclusion of the stunning Above-the-Wall shots in the episodes final minute. Wow.

* slight spoiler: my heart will be iron by the time season 3 ends.

Peachy x