It’s recipe time!!
When I’ve got nothing else to do (and sometimes even when I have lots to do,) I like to bake delicious things.* One of the single most delicious things I know how to make is these marvelous little suckers.
*Sigh* These cookies, man. They have everything. The recipe is based on one from an enormous Women’s Weekly Cookbook called Food We Love, but the original version had too many nuts and fruit adjacent ingredients and nowhere near enough chocolate and marshmallows. So I improvised (by improvised, I mean I painstakingly added up the weight of all of the additional ingredients to figure out how much wiggle room I had for chocolate bits and extra goodies.)
I also learned that for this recipe (and some cakes that I’ve experimented with,) you don’t need a mixmaster or electric beaters of any sort. When I’m at home, I don’t mind putting the butter out for a while to soften before I beat in into submission (literally,) with my mother’s high powered monster (WHICH I ALWAYS CLEAN REALLY REALLY THOROUGHLY, I LOVE YOU, MUM,) but when I’m living at uni I don’t have access to anything quite so high-tech. Have you ever tried to beat cold cubes of butter by hand? It sucks. It takes a really long time and you end up with wrist and hand and elbow and shoulder cramps and I am telling you now, ain’t NOBODY got time for that shit. So one day, I was reading a random cake recipe that used cooled, melted butter and I thought, ‘why the hell not?’ So now I use melted butter whenever I don’t have access to/am too lazy to face the prospect of cleaning a magical butter beating machine. Moral of the story: I will ALWAYS find a way to make yummy things happen. I AM AN HARBINGER OF DELICIOUSNESS, BITCHES. FEAR MY WRATH.
Ok, so now it’s really recipe time.
Magpie’s Chocolate Everything Cookies
First thing’s first. Preheat yourself an oven to 180 degrees Celsius. If you happen to live in a country that rejects the wonders of the metric (I’m not judging you, I promise,) here is a convenient online converter. Also, line a baking tray or two with grease proof paper. And now, the ingredients!
- 125 g butter (melted and cooled if you’re mixing by hand, cubed and softened if you’re being fancy and have one of these bad boys.)
- 1 1/4 cups of brown sugar, tightly packed
- 1 cup of plain (all-purpose) flour
- 1 teaspoon of bi-carb soda (if you have baking soda but not bi-carb, don’t stress. I’ve used both for this recipe and haven’t ever noticed a difference.)
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla (extract or imitation, whatever makes you and your wallet happy.)
- 1 egg
- 1/4 cup of self raising flour
- 1/3 cup cocoa powder
- 1 cup milk (and/or dark) eating chocolate, chopped into bits
- 1 cup of white chocolate (eating or otherwise, but I don’t really know what else you’re going to do with it, unless you’re really weird, in which case I’m still not judging, but I don’t really want to know,) also chopped into bits.
- 1/4 cup mini marshmallows, halved or quartered (I know this doesn’t seem like a lot, but once you’ve mixed it, these little guys really get around.)
Let the baking begin.
- Beat the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla with a whisk in a medium bowl until creamy. If you’ve melted the butter, it’s going to look a bit funny until you beat the egg in- don’t stress. Once the egg is all beaten in it starts looking pretty regular. If you didn’t melt the butter and you have a mixmaster, go on with your good self (I’m also a little bit jealous of you.)
- Sift in the flour, cocoa powder and soda of your choice. It can get a little tricky to mix at this stage, so it can help to sift in the dry ingredients in batches. Stir all of the sifted stuff in to the wet stuff with a wooden spoon. We’re getting close now, resist the urge to eat the batter, or you won’t have any cookies. Also, there’s a raw egg in there. Just sayin’.
- Add the chocolate and marshmallow bits, and keep mixing with the wooden spoon until it looks like the cookie dough of your dreams. If the cookie dough of your dreams is much, much more impressive than what is in the bowl in front of you, you might have gotten something a little bit wrong. Kidding. Lower your expectations, they’re cookies, not a croquembouche. Chill.
- The dough is going to be a little bit sticky, so to make handling it a teeny bit easier, put either a light dusting of flour or a few drops of water on your hands. If the dough is soggy, you’re using too much water. Grab teaspoon sized chunks of the dough and roll them between your hands until they’re roughly spherical. It won’t be perfectly round because of the intense amount of stuff in it, but do your best. Place them about three finger widths apart on one of the lined baking trays, and press them down slightly with your hands or the prongy things of a fork.
- Once you’ve filled a tray, put it in the oven (which I sincerely hope you’ve remembered to set to 180 degrees C, otherwise you’re going to be at this for a while,) and set the timer for 10 minutes.
- Spend this 10 minutes wisely. Grab a cooling rack and set it up nearby. Put more cookies on the second tray and for the love of the beautiful cookies that are about to come out of the oven, clean up after yourself. It shouldn’t take that long if whenever you finish with a bowl or an implement, you put it in the sink and fill it with hot water. If you have a dishwasher, lucky you, but if you don’t rinse it first your dishwasher is not going to like you very much.
- Has it been 10 minutes yet? Hooray! The cookies should have spread themselves out (and if you left enough space between them, look lovely and haven’t joined together like some mutant creation that will still be delicious.) Take them out of the oven and let them sit for 5 minutes before you move them to the cooling rack, or they’ll fall apart on you, which is just an embarrassing experience. Put the next tray in, rinse and repeat until you’re out of dough.
Ta da! Congratulations on your fantastic cookies, you should be proud of yourself. Please don’t eat them all on your own, because you will get diabetes and then I’ll feel terrible for posting this recipe. Go on, eat them with your friends and/or family. At worst, use them to help you make some friends. Nothing helps people overlook your eccentricities like a mouthful of gooey chocolate marshmallow goodness. These are best eaten on the day, but if you need to store them they’ll keep relatively happily for a few days in an airtight container until you decide to eat them, at which point they’ll probably get a little bit sad and have to make peace with their maker, who is you anyway, so… JOKE’S ON YOU COOKIES!
I really hope you enjoy making and eating these cookies as much as I do : )
*When I have nothing else to do, it’s just regular baking. When I’m supposed to be writing essays or packing boxes, it’s a little thing I like to call ‘procrastibaking.’